Feature Interview – Mistress DiLetto

by Michael Smith
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-You want to envision your surrender-

If you were worried no one would understand your desires, you can relax. If you are ready to act on long-held fantasies, if you need to experiment, if you’ve enjoyed BDSM but thought that something was missing, I’m the guide you need. If you know just what dirty, kinky things you love but need a pretty young Domme to love them with you, you’ve found the right woman. My dominance is psychological, and so it is endlessly adaptable to physical circumstance; however I need to coax you into that mental state of utter submission, I will do so with ease.

slaveboysmith: For any who follow you, it is very evident you control men with ease. Has that always been the case? Do you recall when you first realized the power you hold over men?

Mistress DiLetto: In college I lived off-campus in a building with only one other apartment, and in that apartment was a former professional athlete who was about 15 years older than me. He was incredibly hot, a pillar of the community who ran a charity for disadvantaged youth. I was immediately smitten. I thought he really liked me too, and we hooked up. Soon after that he told me I was too young for him, and he’d lied about wanting to date me so that I’d have sex with him. I was like, are you kidding me, you’re going to pull that shit with someone you have to live next door to for two years? So I just decided then and there that if he wanted sex that badly, I’d use it to destroy him.

Over the next year I kept trying to see how far I could push him. I think the peak was when I got him to duck out on his students’ graduation to come fuck me on the staircase of our building. It felt like, see, you’re not the good guy you tell yourself you are. But I realized that this wasn’t healthy for me either. I couldn’t even relax in my own apartment, I felt like I always had to be ‘on’, so I could drive him crazy, and it was driving me crazy. That’s when I discovered BDSM: I could role play these kinds of power dynamics within the context of positive relationships. So then I just started to ignore him, which probably drove him crazier!

“Worship My 7 inch Platform Teasers”

sbs: Are you naturally dominant in every aspect of your life, or is Femdom more a roleplay for you when interacting with slaves?

MDL: I would say I’m assertive in every aspect of my life, but I’m only ‘dominant’ with people who’ve agreed to be submissive to me. It isn’t always role play—to me, that means playing out a story arc or at least taking on a specific character archetype (like ‘naughty neighbor!’). It’s more that I let that side of me come out, but only with the people who’ve consented to it.

sbs: If you could have one celebrity, or well known person, completely at your mercy, willing to do anything you demanded of them, who would it be, and why?

MDL: Funny story: I already did this. When I was first figuring out I was kinky in college there was this one TV show I would watch all the time that had some very kinky elements to it, and I developed a HUGE crush on the lead actor. A few years later he was in a Broadway play. My boyfriend dumped me two weeks before the show, and in that moment I decided I’d seduce my celebrity crush from the front row. I talked about it with another Dominatrix and she said, “Just use your Domme skills on him. All any powerful man wants is to not be in power for a while.” I was still pretty new to BDSM and was like, “I don’t think that’ll work, that only works with men who are sexually submissive.” But I chose to trust her since she had a lot more experience. I showed up wearing a black velvet corset under a button-up shirt…which I unbuttoned as soon as the lights went down. I saw him watching me from the stage. Afterward I gave him my number at the stage door, and when he texted me, I didn’t ask if he wanted to meet— I told him when and where.

She was right, he showed up. Here was this insanely famous, rich, talented, award-winning, handsome man I’d idolized for YEARS doing what I told him to because he was so tired of being in charge all the time. I admit I was nervous at first but I reminded myself I had a distinct advantage: I knew practically everything about him, and he knew absolutely nothing about me. After that I relaxed, and we had an amazing date! At the end he he reluctantly confessed he didn’t want to cheat on his girlfriend “anymore” (lol) so we ended up being friends. I helped him do research for his next role.

You definitely know who he is, but I’m all about discretion, so I’ll never name names.

“Mommy Lori is Going to Punish You for Sniffing Her Stockings”

sbs: Is there a specific type of slave you find is drawn to you? Can all submissive men be persuaded to slip across that line into financial domination?

MDL: I have a very thoughtful and measured approach to BDSM that tends to attract two types of submissives: guys who are new to kink and a bit hesitant, who are looking for a conscientious guide to lead them into this world, and guys who have been doing this for longer than I’ve been alive but still feel that there’s something missing to their scenes and need a Dominant who will take a more psychological approach than they’ve encountered in the past.

‘Financial domination’ to me is a specific fetish where the sexual arousal comes from handing over the money, and I don’t think you can induce a fetish in someone—we don’t choose our fetishes. However, as a professional Dominatrix, all of my scenes obviously involve a financial aspect, and I do believe that any submissive man—any man at all, really—can be persuaded to pay me, even if that’s not the thing that turns him on.


sbs: Do you prefer to break and enslave men who might resist, or use well-trained ones that are already broken in?

MDL: After my experience with that neighbor, I realized I didn’t want to break anyone, I didn’t want to tear anyone down. I like building people up. I believe BDSM can be a path to personal growth. Of course, I’m happy to role play a breaking-in scene— that’s actually one of my favorite scenes.

If we’re just talking about submissives who know the etiquette and follow directions willingly, though, I always demand they do that from the very beginning. I refuse to waste my time teaching anyone how to be a decent client. I’m not here to convince you of anything— you’re here to convince me that I should spend my time and energy on you.

“Bratty Lori Blackmails You Into SPH”

sbs: Are there specific fetishes you enjoy exploring with your slaves?

MDL: Oh my god, it’s so hard to pick a favorite fetish. I have a degree in gender and sexuality studies, and all forms of fetishism are so interesting to me. I say this on my website, but it’s worth repeating: I love those passions that make us peculiarly human. I like helping submissives explore why they’re into certain things, because not everyone loves feet (for example) for the same reason. I do have a soft spot for the more obscure fetishes, though. Like, I’d love to do more balloon popping and can crushing scenes.

sbs: Can you describe the feeling you have when you have control of a slave, desperately doing whatever it takes to please you? Is it a rush, or just an expected outcome you’ve grown used to?

MDL: It honestly depends how intense the scene is. I still go into “Domme space” sometimes and experience top drop afterwards— that rush of endorphins followed by a crash. Other times it’s just sort of routine and amusing.

sbs: How can you tell when you’ve completely broken someone and they are unable to resist you?  Is there a “tell” of some kind that lets you know you’ve taken total control?

MDL: Again, I don’t break people, so I’ll insert my own word here: enrapture. I know when I’ve enraptured a submissive, because he’ll do what I want even if it’s not what he wants. And I always know when this happens because I never force or demand anything. I present subs with options: do this and get rewarded, don’t do it and don’t get rewarded. It’s positive reinforcement, the same way you train a dog. I’ll see the hesitation when I present him with the option and then I watch as he chooses to please me by, for example, taking those extra 25 whacks to his most sensitive parts in order to see my tits. Having someone choose this? That’s the real power.

“Dr DiLetto Diagnoses You with an Ass Fetish”

sbs: Have you ever been recognized in public? If so, how does the slave react to seeing his ultimate Goddess in person?

MDL: New York City is a big place, so, no, that hasn’t happened. As I said earlier, I’m big on discretion, so if you do recognize me in person I ask that you pretend you don’t know me, and I will do the same for you.

It helps that I don’t show my face. I mean, I show enough of it that you can tell I’m gorgeous, but not enough to be recognizable. I’m getting a professional graduate degree, and I want to keep my career options open, so I chose privacy over publicity. A lot of clients really appreciate this— we can go out to dinner, and they don’t have to be worried about being spotted with a ‘known’ Dominatrix. I can just pretend I’m their employee, or better yet, their surprisingly young boss.

sbs: For slaves looking to impress you, what is the best way for them to show you they are sincere in their desire to serve and spoil?

MDL: I know from the get-go when someone is sincere. He’ll read my website and either fill out my session request form with all the proper information (my preferred method of initial contact) or, if he doesn’t come to me through my website because certain advertising sites don’t allow Dommes to list our sites, he will contact me with a respectful introductory email: proper grammar and punctuation, enough information that I can decide if I want to see him but not so much information that it’s clear he’s wasting my time with wanky fantasies. Then he’ll pay a deposit, and we’ll schedule the appointment. If he really wants to endear himself and get a preferential spot in my schedule, he’ll send something extra before, or he’ll show up with one of my preferred gifts and tip me afterward.

If he’s contacting me about one of my virtual offerings, he’ll likewise be respectful, brief, and informative in his initial inquiry and, again, send something extra to show he really appreciates my time and talent.

“Bare Ass Worship and JOI Countdown”

sbs: Is there anything else you would like to tell your admiring worshipers reading this interview?

MDL: There is one thing I’d like to address. It doesn’t happen often, but I do still occasionally encounter people who think I’m not really dominant because I switch (or that I’m not really submissive). If I were worried about this kind of ignorance I wouldn’t have offered switch services to begin with, because Domme sessions are where I make most of my money anyway, but it was important to me that I be true to myself, and also I love connecting with switch clients! So simply for the benefit of anyone who really doesn’t understand, allow me to draw on my degree here as well as all of the continuing ed I do and the years of experience in the scene that I have: it is completely possible to really be dominant in some scenarios and with some people and really be submissive in some scenarios and with some people. Kink is a kind of sexual orientation (not in the political sense, but in the literal sense that it is a way people are oriented sexually) and for some people that orientation is contextual. I am really both.

I think some submissive men try to project their own experience of submission onto me and assume that I must be submissive all the time and just be lying about being a Domme. Or they’ve blurred the lines between fantasy and reality and think that submitting to someone actually makes you inherently pathetic/weak/whatever. It can be hot to dirty talk about being pathetic and weak but it’s important to know that there is strength in submission, After all, why would I bother accepting someone’s submission if they were actually so pathetic and weak? It would mean nothing.

In some ways, being a switch actually makes me both more dominant and more submissive when I am in those respective headspaces— because I know from experience what the other side feels like! Of course everyone has a unique subjective experience, but when I hit you with a paddle, I actually know from my own experience as a sub how it feels! If you’ve never had a session with a switch, I’d recommend trying it at least once. We bring a unique approach to the table.

But don’t take my word for it: read my reviews or check out my clips.

sbs: If you would oblige me one final question…if we were conducting this interview in person, how would it end?

MDL: I’d have you kiss my ass and then give you a swift kick in the nuts (assuming this had all been pre-negotiated and you’d paid your tribute, of course!).

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