Welcome to the multi-faceted world of Velvet Steele, Canada’s premiere transsexual fetish lady!
Picture a 6′ tall statuesque, fit blonde, with measurements 36FFF-30-39 in form-fitting dresses reminiscent of the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Throw in some stilettos, make-up, tattoos, long nails, a killer sense of humour, and the fact she’s transsexual, and voila! You have, me, Velvet Steele, living life, love, happiness, and a bit of sex and sexuality, well a lot of sex!
Enticingly Yours,
Velvet Steele
slaveboysmith: It would be impossible to fully share the story of your experiences within the world of Femdom within this interview, but thank you Miss Velvet Steele for allowing us to try. Let’s begin with me asking a little about how you first found yourself drawn to the world of sex work and Femdom.
Miss Velvet Steele: I’m not sure if it was me that was drawn to the world of Sex Work or Sex Work drawn to me. I grew up in a family that was very liberal, and discussions around sex work and the Red Light district of Copenhagen, Denmark were always happening at the kitchen table and social gatherings. Denmark being my family’s country of origin has always been considered a very liberal land, and Sex Work widely accepted during that time. Things of course have changed somewhat with regards to legislation over there because of the world wide conflation with sex work and human trafficking. We are working to change that perception!
Conversations about it were always fun and full of life, and when I lived there, I was just around the corner from the Red Light district, and I loved my adventures there. My whole life I’ve enjoyed the company of friends engaged in some form of sexual openness, from strippers, to burlesque, to escorts and beyond. I’ve always found it stimulating, glamorous (although we know some aspects aren’t), and a great source of income. It’s not easy work, and for those in it as a lifetime career, they have a lot invested.
I think the biggest thing for me was the personal growth and acceptance of myself as a burgeoning woman and Femdom was the right fit. I’m good at fantasy creation and story telling, along with an innate ability to get inside the minds of folks, which seriously helps for role-play. At the time, I wasn’t having sexual contact with myself, for a multitude of reasons. The main one being my body dysmorphia around male genitalia, the associative of what I knew myself to be, my breasts, and femininity. Everything that in my mind and eyes is what a powerful woman is.
I could wear wonderful clothes, make-up, do my hair, look good and again, not worry about the sexual contact with me, it just didn’t, and wasn’t going to happen with the appendage I had. Lets just say, I couldn’t wait to get on with my life’s journey, and my clients, slaves and subs gave me the validation I needed to move on.
sbs: What role has your being a Transsexual played in your experiences as a Femdom? Has it made it more difficult, easier, or just different?
MVS: Hmmm, a hard question to answer. When I entered the world of Femdom, it occurred rather organically, and not with “transsexual” as the factor of influence. For me I was a woman on a journey of self discovery and change. Albeit, with some medically necessary procedures that had to take place, and that took place during my career, and beyond. It wasn’t until later that I started to think more about it and what it actually meant to my clients, slaves, and submissives who sought out the services of my craft.
In the beginning clients were seeing me, knowing that I was on a particular journey, and I had a very full roster. However when the surgical validations started to occur, clients dropped off. I wasn’t sure what that was about, but because I was so immersed in knowing I am woman, it never occurred to me to even think about the aspect of a male appendage as the attraction for these clients. Even though it never came into play with any of my activities.
The male energy attached to a penis is very strong, and I believe, that was the draw; the strength and association. And of course, when that was gone or re-adjusted, folks in my private, and professional world noticed a change in me, or so they said. A “softening” so to speak. I never clued in, I was just getting on with life and becoming me.
I truly had to adjust my approach and presentation, and as such morph into another aspect of Femdom. Less of the in your face, and more of the subtle. It may not make much sense, but for me it did, and I ended up getting new followers, slaves, subs, and clients as a result of that.
sbs: In your opinion, what does the perfect submissive/slave look and act like? What must our readers aspire to in their interactions with a Femdom?
MVS: Like myself, I expect the perfect submissive/slave to adhere to the old school mantra of “Safe Sane Consensual Respect” Without those elements as the governing factors one cannot properly indulge in this lifestyle. Respect is earned, not given and I find so many “think” they have it when following the mantra, but actually don’t! You can be, and exemplify the first three, but respect needs to be up front and centre.
Speak when spoken to. Don’t take liberties. Don’t push or try to push my buttons and boundaries, you’ll be gone from my life! Education is very important, be learned, but no one likes a show off, or to be upstaged. I’m the one in charge! Make no assumptions, ask when the opportunity arises. Have some forethought, I certainly don’t want to have to “pull it out of your ass” all of the time. Be mannered, courteous, polite. Be caring, thoughtful, insightful. I think you get the drift here. Be well dressed.
BE HEALTHY! Eat right, exercise, be well rested. Be well groomed, clean, manicured, brush your teeth, no one likes a slob!
I truly believe that appearances matter. Call me shallow and I won’t entertain with you, ever! We are all about putting our best foot forward, and that should never stop throughout our whole lives! Everything takes effort to do that, and little hard work goes a long way.
sbs: Are there specific fetishes you most enjoy exploring in session, and has that changed with your increased experience and as you’ve evolved as a Dominatrix?
MVS: I’m very tactile, hands on. Touch, it’s one of the five senses that I believe has been seriously neglected in my stable. My early years were very focused on the usual three of leather, latex, and PVC, the smooth and shiny. As I moved more into the world of worship, I started investing in luxurious fabric, the silky feel of satin, the texture of laces, the soft caress of high denier knits of stockings, stay-ups, and pantyhose. High end lingerie always has that. Slipping on a pair of luscious panties, not only onto myself, but an adoring slave, always elicits a response of shock and amazement at how good it truly feels.
I still love my leathers, and have pretty much all of it from my early days. Conditioned and cared for it will last forever. However spending money on items such as Latex, and PVC didn’t resonate with me anymore. The life expectancy of those fabrics/substances are short lived so, I redirected my investing to suit my growing desires of soft silky fabrics and vintage lingerie. Accessorized with leather, and you have an even more delicious ensemble.
I love enveloping a submissive in the feel of those items, making them wear, feel, and learn the feel of these items. It opens up a whole new set of desires not yet explored, and why not worship them on me?
sbs: If you could have one celebrity, or well known person, kneeling before you, nervously hearing the click of your heels as you approach in your dungeon, who might that be, and why?
MVS: Lol Aside from my current slave? I have many fantasies, but mostly of shoving something huge up the arse of a deserving politician, and some well known folks. I like the perception of child-like innocence one sees through the eyes of those that display it. One actor I would say I’ve given thought to would be Joel Kinnaman. The Swedish actor, as of late, famous for his portrayal of Takeshi Kovacs in Altered Carbon. I’ve seen him in many other productions, and he has that look in his face that I just want to take and blow away. He reminds me of a SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy), and it helps that I’ve met him as well on the set of Altered Carbon, and his eyes have that “wanting to know” look of innocence I so badly want to corrupt! Plus he’s easy on the eyes and not a bad actor! lol
sbs: Can you describe how it feels to be in absolute control of another person as you have been so often? Is there an equivalent experience for a Domme as that which is referred to as “sub-space” for a submissive during session?
MVS: I’m not sure it’s describable! It’s an energy that comes from deep within that warms the soul and senses. Like wearing your favourite lipsticks. It’s a rather organic feeling. I wrote a piece for the Hooker Monologues, a performance I did with 11 other women here in Vancouver in 2016. My piece, “Forever Red”, is about the feelings of wearing that red lipstick and the cavalcade of emotions that come from it. Here is an excerpt from it I truly believe gives your readers the idea of what it feels like for those feelings to come to life.
“A ritual , my ritual with a life of its own, rather an organic life, one that grows from deep inside my core, from my feet to my legs, my face to my hair, my skin to my clothes, layer upon layer. My layers of intricate artistry, like the foundations of a grande mansion, constructed and carved, painted and draped, coifed, adorned, ornate, and framed by an attitude. An attitude compared to that of an on/off, switch, only more complex and hard to turn off.”
Yeah, I would say it’s Domme space!
sbs: Your list of experiences and accomplishments in the world of Femdom is almost incomprehensible. Wherever do you find the time!?! Is there one accomplishment you are most proud of, and what comes next for you, as you don’t strike me as a person likely to rest on their laurels even for a second?
MVS: Lol! You are right about that. I was recently asked by a friend if there is any down time for Velvet Steele, I just laughed! Downtime for me IS about doing the things I love! I’m always doing things, and onto the next aspect of my life, integrating the new with the old, or letting the old rest peacefully. I’ve done a lot, seen and experienced a lot, some over the moon, some great, good, and as well, many downright awful.
I make the time, this plane of existence is too short to not live it all! But this is a question that has possibly more than one answer. My accomplishments are many, and my biggest one would be being able to educate, and help work on a federal level to change sex work laws and legislation to reflect the world of Femdom within that. I’m working on that yet again with our current Liberal government. They’re just crazy, and definitions, so broad and wildly defined by those that actually have no clue about our world. I scratch my head at it.
However on a personal level within the world of Velvet Steele, my biggest accomplishment would have been the operation of the first Fetish Nights here in Vancouver that ran for 11 years. Under the banner of Betty Page Fetish Nights, we eventually changed our name to Body Perve Fetish Nights (a legal situation brought on by her bother Jack Page that fell miserably flat). I was so proud of being able to create an event that brought people of like mind together to enjoy their dressing for pleasure fetishes and kinky activities. People came and went, but they all grew within themselves and their particular interests. Met and networked, indulged, enjoyed, laughed, cried, and became family! Our doors have been closed for 10 plus years, but I still get random messages from those who used to attend, thanking me for doing what I did. It’s very heart warming for me. I love it!
sbs: How has Femdom changed since you first began as a Dominatrix? What do you see that has improved, and what do you wish had not become a part of the world you are such an integral part of?
MVS: Lol I think it was inevitable that I was to become a part of this world of Femdom and fetish, it was a collision course that was unavoidable. I have no regrets.
I came into it on what I would say was the cusp of the changing of the guard between the “Old and New.” The old guard in 87 was very sex free in their descriptions of the activities and services they provided using terms like “non-sexual” “non-penetrative” etc. I don’t believe they truly understood what it sounded like to the general public. I was always of the belief that dressing for pleasure in the manner we were and do, IS commanding that sexual attention, you cannot say it doesn’t. It was just another layer to it all.
The conflict that ensued between the “guards” was for ownership of using sexual descriptives, and visual presentations. It was that extra level of empowerment within this world. People threw to the wind the notions of saying it was non-sexual, instead in favour of becoming more confident in letting the world know they were sexual within it. It was rather refreshing to see, but of course, was met with a lot of hostility from many.
It was a rather complex situation, and still is to this day. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking on it, and the aspects, if people at the time were trying to hide the sexual physicality of Femdom, versus the dressing pleasure and keeping them separate from one another. Today they are very linked and presented that way. I’m happy to see people have to come to own it for what they interpret it to be to themselves without many, if any at all, repercussions.
sbs: You are based in Vancouver, as I am. Where does our fine city rank in terms of the world in terms of Femdom in general, and Transsexual Femdom specifically?
MVS: I like to think it ranks fairly high, taking cues from European style Femdom in it’s approach and presentation by the many beauties out there.
Transsexual Femdom is another thing altogether. I find it up and down (no pun intended!) and the media has manipulated the market in terms of the advertising terminology and presentations. It’s become challenging, and at best, difficult to have submissives that are genuine. Most are not that knowledgeable when it comes to terminology here, mixing up terms like transsexual with transgender and associating male genitalia with them. So not the case.
Presently there is a growing community and movement to take back terminology and not have it so “umbrella”. For those of us who are the women we are today, we have gone through our transsexual medical worlds to be us, women. Those who identify using transgender, sometimes make it confusing when they don’t give appropriate descriptives.
In my early years terms like pre-op, post-op, were widely used. Still are today by many of us. Being vilified for using words like transsexual by many in this “community” still widely happens. I have to point out that what triggers a person for one, may not trigger another, and that needs to be respected, but not coddled.
When the world of websites that featured Femdom exploded, it was new terrain for use of those descriptives and created a lot of conflict for many of us, at many points jeopardizing our safety, security and well-being. It’s still very rough terrain today, and therein lies the challenge of navigating that; the use of descriptives, ads, photos, etc and then the subsequent evaluation of prospective slaves. I’d had to leave many websites because of their refusal to accept my bio’s, because of their newfound belief they are being politically correct listening and adopting what the “movement” out there has shoved down their throats. It is very sensitive for me and many others, but we are resilient and the will to survive is great to move on.
We have a long way to go, I’m not sure how long it will take to get there, but let’s hope it’s sooner than later! OOXXX
