Of all the sexual fetishes in the world, financial domination has perhaps one of the most glamourous images. Beautiful women are sent money and lavished with expensive gifts by men who want next-to-nothing in return – it’s all about submitting to the dominant woman and relinquishing control over your finances. Some financial domination (or Findom) relationships consist of one-off payments, others are regimented regular transfers of money and some men even hand over passwords and total control of their bank accounts to a Domme, ceding absolute control to his Goddess. The Urban Dictionary defines financial domination as: The fetish/fantasy/lifestyle act of one person being submissive with their finances (giving money) and the other person taking or demanding finances (receiving money). But does this really give us a true understanding of what financial domination entails? To gain a greater insight, DommeAddiction sought out the most desirable and successful woman we know, the breathtakingly beautiful and manipulative Divine Goddess Jessica, and asked her to explain Findom to us at a deeper level. If you follow her social media, you know that every day men from all over the world surrender their hard earned money through tributes, lavish gifts and arranging of cashmeets with the irresistible Goddess Jessica. What is it that drives this type of submission, and how is a woman like Goddess Jessica able to turn desire into dollars so easily?
slaveboysmith: For slaves that are new to financial domination, can you explain what it entails, and what it means to you as a Domme?
Divine Goddess Jessica: Financial domination is just one of the many fetishes in the BDSM world. Someone that is into FinDom becomes aroused at the thought or act of sending money to a Dominant. They may even savor the thought of financial ruin or bankruptcy.
The lines can be blurry at times. Not every slave is into FinDom, however, I expect any slave who interacts with me on a personal level to pay me for my time. There is a big difference between a payment and a tribute. A fan will pay me for a service I provide them (clips, cam, phone, etc). A FinDom slave will tribute me, that means sending me money without expecting anything in return for it.
Some slaves send a tribute expecting nothing in return, not because the sheer act of sending money arouses them, but because they value and appreciate me and want to thank me with a monetary gift.
sbs: How does a financial domination fetish form?
DGJ: This can happen in so many ways, I will give you some examples:
Slave R’s fetish started in a webcam room. His favorite model wasn’t around a lot so he tipped extra just to see her. Soon he learned that the only way he could talk to her was to pay. Every time he payed her he was able to earn some of her precious attention. He didn’t care that she didn’t like him, she was a Goddess. She was the perfect woman. He learned to enjoy sending her money because it meant he was able to bask in her presence, even if that was only through a computer screen. Now he sends her tips whenever he’s thinking of her.
Slave F’s fetish started in a strip club. He was so enticed by a dancer that he handed her twenty dollar bill after twenty dollar bill and become more and more excited every time her perfectly manicured hand snatched a bill away from him. Before he knew it his wallet was empty and he was trying to conceal his hard on while standing in line at the ATM. All she had to do was stretch out her hand and his money was hers. When he can’t make it to the strip club for a draining he pops up to play with FinDoms on Skype.
Slave P’s fetish stems from his childhood. His single mother was always struggling to care for him and often went without. She worked her ass off for as long as he can remember and was never able to live the life she deserved. He’s always felt guilty about this. In some strange way, Slave P feels he is making things right by spending on women.
Slave M’s fetish started in high school. A cute cheerleader forced him to give her money or pay for her lunch every day. She was from a wealthy family, she didn’t need his money, she just wanted it. He couldn’t resist paying or handing cash over whenever she said. She was so pretty and assertive and he wanted to be close to her more than anything. The way she used him and bossed him around was degrading. She didn’t care how long it took him to earn that money at McDonald’s and it was HOT. Now he’s into luxury Dommes who force him to buy them designer handbags and expensive vacations.
sbs: Beyond the obvious financial benefits, what do you see as the motivations for a Domme to take financially from her slaves?
DGJ: I am a Dominant. My motivation is always control. My slaves are always seeking control. If you control a slave’s wallet, you control his entertainment and therefore his attention. If I have your credit card details and your bank account login I know exactly what you’re spending on. If I cancel your subscriptions, your cable TV, your nights out drinking at the bar, all you have left is me and my videos. I teach you to focus on me, to spend on me. You learn that spending on me feels good, my attention feels good. This is fun and exciting for both of us.
sbs: How are you able to gauge when you’ve taken from a slave to a level of discomfort, but not ruin? After all, a ruined slave can no longer provide financially, correct?
DGJ: Those with a financial domination fetish want to hear that I will take every last penny and completely destroy them, but they do not actually want this to happen. It’s difficult to differentiate between fantasy and reality, especially when you’re interacting through a computer screen. My slaves may know everything about me, but I might only know their screen name. Some claim they are bankrupt and go on and on about how I’ve rinsed them dry after sending me just $20… that’s clearly a role-play fantasy. Some insist on sending thousands and thousands in one night and I have no idea if they are bankrupting themselves or if they have millions in disposable income.
From a moral standpoint, all you can do is check in with your regulars and know the difference between key role-play terms and actual concern. If they start to shy away from large tributes or start to comment on how much they’ve been spending, tone it down. Usually slaves will disappear when they feel they’ve spent too much and come back when they’ve recovered. For those slaves who’s balance I am aware of, I keep them from spending too much. I cut them off after a certain amount or keep them at bay for a certain length of time.
At the end of the day, yes, a ruined slave cannot provide financially and may understandably shy away from FinDom altogether. This is supposed to be fun, I’m not interested in ruining your life. I do not indulge slaves that exhibit self destructive tendencies, such as true financial ruin. Anyone who expresses such interest is going through a crisis and needs a therapist, not a Dominatrix. You could say the same for bartenders. There is a difference between someone having a good time and someone who is drinking themselves into oblivion and needs to be cut off and sent home.
sbs: Are there differing levels of financial domination? Different styles for different slaves?
DGJ: Of course there are different levels. Some spend a lot and some don’t. For example, white whales. White whales come out of nowhere, spend thousands and leave without a trace.
Some slaves are consistent with their spending and some aren’t. Some like to send a scary amount for the thrill of it and some are happy to simply pick up a small monthly bill for me.
Yes, FinDom can be expressed in different styles. Some send large tributes at random in the middle of the night while watching clips. Some need to be encouraged to send a slew of tributes while chatting on Skype. Some I engage through pay-to-view mail. Some just send me whatever amount I tell them to send me. Some play the “raise the rate” game on my phone lines. I have one phone line that I call my “orgasm granting hotline.” A slave on the edge pays $100 to call me to hear either a “yes” or “no” and maybe even a laugh or a count down. Some prefer to hand over their cash in person. Some want to meet for an “ATM drain.”
sbs: How have you become able to differentiate between those who are sincere and eager to pay versus those that are non-committal and wasting your time?
DGJ: If a slave pays me, he’s sincere. If he doesn’t pay me, he’s wasting my time and he’s blocked.
sbs: Does the tribute amount matter most? What is it that you seek in the “ideal” financial pet?
DGJ: A large tribute can convince me to get on cam when I wouldn’t bother otherwise, or persuade me to spend the night draining a pet instead of going out. I do not scoff at small tributes, especially if they are consistent. I have one slave who sends me $25 a day, and has been doing this for over 6 months.
What I seek in an ideal financial pet is obedience, consistency and sacrifice. Send enough to matter, often, and especially when I say.
sbs: For Dommes looking to engage in financial domination, what are some of the dangers or pitfalls?
DGJ: Timewasters, do not engage with anyone who promises to pay you in the future or claims to have references.
Chargebacks, never let anyone pay you on Paypal, not only will you likely get a chargeback, but you will get your account shut down if anyone leaves a note. Never let anyone buy you an Amazon wishlist gift as payment, they will cancel the order. Your safest bet is to accept tributes via clip sites.
Safety, be careful to never allow your personal information to be exposed. Set up all accounts as a business account. Use a PO box for your Amazon wishlist. Disgruntled slaves and sadly even fellow Dommes have been known to dox and expose personal information at the expense of others safety and well-being. Slaves should also be very careful about who they trust with such things.
Ignorance, this isn’t an easy business to start. It’s not as simple as saying “fuck you, pay me” and watching the cash pile up. There are many e-books and online classes out there claiming they can teach you the secrets. Many are scams.
For more information read here:
http://blog.cearalynch.com/2017/03/12/how-to-make-money-as-a-financial-dominatrix/
https://jezebel.com/get-paid-for-treating-men-like-shit-through-the-high-ar-1822601490
https://www.theonlytheodora.com/financialdomination/
sbs: What kinds of mistakes can a financial slave make?
DGJ: One thing I don’t appreciate is a big spender who thinks they get to call the shots. Just because they are sending large tributes doesn’t mean they have a monopoly on my attention. I have blocked many, many big spenders for becoming cocky and entitled.
Another mistake is quite the opposite; some slaves regularly pay me but are worried they will waste my time so they never talk to me. Do not assume that I never want to hear from you. I enjoy engaging with my slaves. As long as you’re spending, feel free to pop up in my DM’s, Skype, KIK, email, etc.
sbs: What is the largest tribute or gift you’ve received?
DGJ: It’s hard to say. I’ve had a slave send $18k in one night. I’ve picked up $30k in cash before. Some of my regulars have spent as much as $100k during the course of our relationship. I’ve had a slave instantly buy my entire Amazon wishlist and furnish my new house. In the last few months one of my regulars has bought me about 10 pairs of designer heels as well as tons of gold jewelry. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a $50 tribute from a well meaning newbie or a pair of tights from my wishlist. Any slave who pays me just because is a good slave in my book.
sbs: For slaves looking to kneel before you, giving to you financially as your slave, what advice do you have for them and how can they best show their sincere desire to serve?
DGJ: The first step is to approach me with a tribute. Send me a tribute with a note or follow up with an email. Only then will I believe you are sincere and our conversation can begin.
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2 comments
As a someone who has had the pleasure to serve and interact with goddess jessica online for years, I can say she is as incredible as a domme as she is beautiful. She pushes one’s limits and will have your head spinning in submissive bliss in no time. Her graciousness to her slaves is also unique and second to none in the industry. Simply the best!
It’s a privilege to serve and goddess and I am lucky that Divine Goddess Jessica has chosen to guide me
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